Ann Althouse has written an important editorial about the institution of marriage.
Legal marriage isn’t just about love, it’s an economic arrangement. Having the state authorize your union is not the same thing as having your friends and neighbors approve of you and your religious leaders bless you. It affects taxes and employee benefits — huge amounts of money. A gay person with a pension and a health insurance plan is incapable of extending those benefits to his (or her) partner. He (or she) can’t file a joint tax return. That’s not fair. A polygamous marriage, however, puts a group of persons in a position to claim more economic benefits than the traditional heterosexual couple. That doesn’t appeal to our sense of fairness.
To me, legal marriage is just a piece of paper from the state that changes my tax status and the way I fill out some of the forms that seem to follow me around and haunt me throughout life. Actual marriage is something completely different. It’s a bond between my wife and I, emotional, intellectual and physical. And who the hell am I to tell someone else that that sort of a bond is not their right, no matter who they choose to form it with.
If you want to “marry” only one person, of the same sex, then you should be afforded that choice. And if some other human being wants to marry 12 people then that is their choice, and I don’t see how it affects me unless they ask for my advice. As long as “marriages” are among consensual adults I don’t see how it is anyone else’s business.
Here we are telling Iraqis that we’re bringing them freedom while keeping adults in our own country from having their long-term committed relationships legally recognized except when they fit into a very narrow category. Hypocrisy? Possibly. I certainly think the terms freedom and liberty are misunderstood. Is it fair to tell gay people or polygamists that they don’t have the same right to enter into legal contracts as heterosexual couples? Nope.
Life doesn’t come with a fairness gaurentee though. All we can do is learn as much as possible and try to keep a good attitude despite other human beings innate need to manage our lives for the “good of everyone.”
Other blogger’s thoughts on marriage, gayness and polygamy:
Below the Beltway: Gay Marriage, Polygamy, And Individual Liberty
Andrew Sullivan: A Simple Point on Polygamy
Ann Althouse: Distinguishing Gay Marriage and Polygamy