Dwayne set the brake of the truck and slipped out of the driver’s seat into the parking lot of Little Beaver’s Liquor Store. It was a cool May evening, and the snow had all but melted in the small town of Yampa, Colorado. The Wolichek brothers had finally convinced Spookytooth to join them on a trip to Texas. Spookytooth reluctantly excepted after Brisco picked him up and threw him inside the truck-cab of their father’s septic-tank pumper. His mother finally gave in to the pressure to let Spookytooth go, but only after the brothers promised to pump her septic tank when they returned. Occasionally, the rancid smell of raw sewage backing up forced the family to eat their meals outside the home.
Spookytooth had never set-foot outside of his state, and was a bit nervous about leaving his mother alone in the cabin tending to his father. There was, however, some improvement in his father’s bout with scoptophobia. He was venturing outside of his room now, but had to be blindfolded to avoid being looked at. The brothers felt Spookytooth needed a break.
The clerk at the liquor store loved the Wolichek family. When the jingle of the door-chime announced Dwayne’s presence, the clerk grinned and cracked his knuckles. “Wussup Randy?” Dwayne asked as he wiped the curly dreadlocks out of his face. “Here for the usual Dwayne?” The clerk knew the answer and headed instinctively for the George Dickle whisky. “Yeap…but I mona need about triple the normal load,” Dwayne replied as he winked and pulled his pants up over his pot belly. Brisco and Dwayne, along with their father Carl, stopped by Little Beaver almost every day, sometimes twice.
The Wolichek brothers received a phone call a few hours back from their cousin Maynard in Texarkana, Texas. Maynard was in a panic, and asked the brothers if they would drive the pumper down. Maynard said it was urgent and that he would explain when they got there. Maynard was Carl’s brother’s son, and the boys had been close through the years. The trio had even been arrested together one Thanksgiving when they set free more than four-hundred turkeys from a farm just outside of Texarkana. They would have gotten away, had they not attempted to herd the poultry down main street as a practical joke. The brothers told Carl about the phone call and he gave them a questioning look. But he told the boys to be careful, gave them two-hundred dollars in cash for gas and said, “Maynard’s payin’ for the trip back“.
The pumper had been rolling East on I-70 for about eight hours non-stop, and was just outside of Salina, Kansas. Dwayne was driving and Spookytooth sat in the middle next to Brisco, who was eating chicken wings and hadn’t stopped smoking cigarettes since the journey began. The brothers had been drinking shot-for-shot of Dickle and were singing loudly and punching each other while using Spookytooth as a barrier of protection between them. Any other person would have been annoyed, but Spookytooth seemed to be enjoying himself. He smiled and worked his way around their jabs.
Brisco had just flipped a cigarette butt out of the window when he noticed steam whisping over the pumper’s hood. “Aw shiat Dwayne I told you ta check ’em hoses before we left,” he said as he rolled his eyes. Spookytooth held on to Brisco’s orange vest as Dwayne guided the vehicle to the next exit. Dwayne downshifted between Spookytooth’s legs as the pumper’s gears moaned. “Hell I jist put new hoses on ‘er not more an a munth ago,” Dwayne contested.
It was now approaching 9 pm, and Rolling Hills Wildlife Adventures was closed. Spookytooth was relieving himself in the bushes for the first time in nearly nine hours while Dwayne and Brisco cursed at each other. Brisco stepped up on the front bumper, popped the hood and squinted as he tried to wave away the heavy steam and look into the engine compartment. Dwayne held a flashlight for his brother. “Dammit, we’re in the middle of nowhere Brisco, what are we gonna do?” he asked bluntly. By this time, Spookytooth had come over to investigate.
Spookytooth squeezed between the brothers and peered down into the steamy compartment. “Ish sis main hose thash leakin’, and ish only bushted on the end towardsh the fittin“, he slurred. Spookytooth took out his pocket knife, flipped it open and began to work. The brothers raised their eyebrows and looked at each other in amazement. Spookytooth licked his protruding tooth as he cut-off the bad section of hose and reattached it to the fitting. “Now aw we need ish shom water“, Spookytooth said. Knowing they couldn’t go far without overheating the pumper’s engine, Brisco came up with a plan.
Dwayne managed to pry the lock off of the zoo’s service entrance gate with a crow-bar while Spooktooth played lookout. Once Dwayne managed to muscle the gate open, Brisco put the pumper in gear and inched forward. Spookytooth and Dwayne jumped on the back and hung on as they slowly crept through the park looking for water. There were no water faucets anywhere that they could see, and everything was locked up tight. Spookytooth spotted what looked like a small pond through the darkness. “Hey Brishco thersh shum water over the fencsh right there“, he said excitedly.
“What the hell’s an Aardvark?” Dwayne asked as he looked at a wooden sign. Brisco began slowly backing the pumper through the double-layered chain-link fence surrounding the pond. The metal links of the fence popped and screeched against the truck’s rear bumper as Brisco gave the engine more throttle. “I shink an Aardvark’s shum kinda shquirrel,” Spookytooth answered. The fence wasn’t budging, so Dwayne decided to take the septic hose from the truck and run it over the fence and into the pond. The idea all along was to suck water into the pumper’s tank and then reverse the flow into the radiator of the vehicle. By this time the truck’s engine was running red-hot. “I mona have to shut ‘er down,” Brisco said.
Spookytooth climbed over the fence and Dwayne tossed the septic hose over from the other side. Spookytooth dragged the hose down to the water’s edge and plopped the nozzle into the water. Spookytooth froze at what he heard next. A rumbling growl off to his left made the hairs on the back of his neck stand-up. Dwayne noticed the animal’s beady eyes reflecting the fluorescent light of the park through the darkness. “That ain’t no damn squirrel,” he said. “Brisco, run an get ’em chicken wangs out of the truck quick!” Brisco leaped into action. Fearing the worst, he grabbed the Styrofoam box from the pumper’s cab, ran over to the fence and threw the half-eaten wings in the animal’s direction. Spookytooth began crying hysterically, but stood dead still near the water’s edge.
The animal waddled itself over to the chicken wings and sniffed around the box. It raised its pointy head in the air and let loose a high-pitched growl. Almost paralyzed with fear, Spookytooth countered with a terrified scream of his own and wet his pants. “Use that whistle ya used on us,” Dwayne told him. Spookytooth tried to pucker his lips correctly around his tooth, but his mouth was too dry. The aardvark began using its long tongue to lick the chicken bones while it kept a wary eye on Spookytooth. Its razor-like claws shined in the light and it used them to rip the box – scattering chunks of styrofoam.
Brisco fired-up the pumper’s deisel engine again and flipped a switch on the truck to begin sucking water from the pond. The diameter of the large blue hose began to expand as the nozzle made a slurping noise in the pond. The aardvark stood dead still for a second and let out another terrifying growl. “Spooky, grab ‘at hose and haul ass over the fence,” Dwayne told him. Dwayne ran to one end of the fence and began jumping, waving his arms and swearing at the animal to distract it.
Spookytooth, shaking and crying, swiped the nozzle from the pond and sprinted back to the fence – loosing his right sneaker in the process. Despite Dwayne’s antics, the animal gave chase and pounced on the shoe – shaking its head violently as its claws ripped through the canvas material. Spookytooth scaled the eight-foot fence in record time. He tossed the nozzle over about half-way up but got himself hung on the top. Finally, the bottom ripped out of his jeans and he came tumbling to earth.